Options and optional options, that is the question....

There are so many options for my nomadic mind experience, so little time. I've worked my entire teen and adult life. I don't know anything other than working, raising a family and caring for elderly parents. Work has defined me, made me who I am, it has consumed my life, I've only felt worthy when I've been gainfully employed. I hear of work that is available to me now, and the seductive tendrils reach toward me beckoning me back into the safety of that which I already know, my comfort zone.

So I ponder my options. What about going on a spiritual quest? There's the 500 mile walk across Spain, The Way of St. James, or, what about an ashram in India? Perhaps a pilgrimage to Jerusalem or the Abby at Iona in Scotland. Or even a pilgrimage to France and the cathedrals of the Taize services. Right now the most spiritual place I know is my home, I feel the safest here, I feel at peace here secluded from the world, safe from wagging tongues, curious stares and unanswered questions.

I must work! How will I pay for all of this? Hah! I've worked my entire life and never done any of these things, that selfish Master whose name is "Work, Career" has no tolerance for other pursuits, he only has his own ravenous appetite to satisfy, and he's never satisfied, he only becomes more demanding, more selfish, more cruel as my precious time on this earth slips away.

And we come full circle, what is my purpose here? In the Buddhist tradition, my purpose is to be joyful, in the Christian tradition my purpose is to eliminate suffering. I thought I knew my purpose, and God laughed at me. Be still and listen; He seems to be calling me to be still and listen.

Such a nomadic post, wandering with no destination.

Nomad

Suddenly, and without warning, I have become a nomad. I've left my career of 35 years, and now find myself roaming about, wandering with no fixed destination for the rest of my life. Albeit, the roaming and wandering are in my ever churning, tangled thoughts. For the first time in my life I have no parents to mind, no children to rear and no career passion to follow. Suddenly and without warning I have become a nomad.